Today my almost three year old, Sam, fell asleep on me. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Those minutes snuggling him took me back to when he was so little; when he was a baby baby (not a toddler baby)….to those exhausting days of feed, cuddle, sleep; and repeat.
Sitting on the sofa, holding him, thoughts popped in my head. I heard myself saying…”but the washing needs folding”, “you still need to empty the dishwasher”, “five minutes and then I’ll put him in his bed”. Then I said to myself…NO! You HAVE to enjoy these impromptu moments. Cherish each and every one. The washing will wait but he is getting so big!
This time next year he will have been allocated his Primary school and starting school the following September!
Now I’m getting ready to fold the laundry, iron, pick up my eldest from school and then get him ready for swimming, homework and then dinner.
I love my hectic life and my two rambunctious boys but I do go from one thing to the next constantly! I think that’s why having those moments today with my youngest was so nice and a reminder to slow down and enjoy this time. It will be gone all too quickly. Motherhood – the mundane and amazing can happen in the same moment.
Hello there! I’m Steph and YES! I am a mother who talks about her children.
I totally get it! You (sometimes) don’t want to hear about my kids. I didn’t used to get all goo goo gaa gaa about babies – I used to have a busy social life, hair always nice…..I used to be able to wear high heels and not have snot on the majority of my tops! 🤷🏼♀️
But things happen….and my hubs and I decided to start a family! Shock…horror!
I vividly remember telling one of my best friends, shortly after we announced we were preggo, that if I EVER talked only about my baby and what my baby was doing…to kindly slap some sense into me!
We used to roll our eyes at the loud babies at the local coffee shop and I just couldn’t get over how many pics of the their baby some of my friends would post on Facebook. I just couldn’t understand how a woman with a life before her baby would cease to exist after giving birth and have nothing else to talk about.
I vowed this would not be me, so when I got pregnant I talked about my maternity leave as if I was on a year sabbatical from work. I talk about learning a new language while my baby napped (I seriously did! 🙈) and I talked about all the fun outings I would have with my little bundle of joy…all while keeping my social life and meeting friends out for lunch as the baby would just tag along, right?!….ahhhhhhb how naive was I!!
Once I had my little man I was besotted. I just kept looking at him and couldn’t believe that we made this tiny, perfect human! I didn’t go out much because my delivery was a bit more intense that I thought it would be so I had a while to recover and my little man had bad reflux so that meant lunches out were also put on hold for a while but BOY I was proud of what I did and what I made and what he was accomplishing on a daily basis and I wanted my friends to know about it. So I posted about it and talked about it and then… I got it! I got why parents became “boring”, why they talked about their little baby, why they wanted to share with friends and family about their little bundle of joy. Because they were PROUD! Because they were EXCITED! Because they just really wanted to connect with other people who just got it as well.
I got it in the end and even though I might not talk about my dudes ALL the time! I’m not going to stop talking about them because you might think I’m boring. They are my greatest accomplishment and, just as someone else might talk about that new job, that new holiday, a challenge they have just accomplished or anything they are really proud of. I’m DEFINITELY going to talk about mine!
William went to see Aladdin at the Panto over Christmas break with his Dad. When he came home he told me that the Genie gave Aladdin three wishes and he wanted to tell me his three wishes. The first one was to have another baby brother! Trust me, that came out of the blue for me as well! But it did validate some of the niggling feelings I’d been having for the past few months (much to the shock of my husband!) that I MIGHT be ready for another baby! Whaaat??!! Now, I have no idea where this has come from! I have been longing for some “me” time for literally YEARS and now this month I’m actually going to get two days a week where I can focus on my projects but my womb has other ideas!
I’m 40 now and I think I realise that this quite possibly is my last chance to try….am I really ready to stop? I had quite bad pregnancies with both boys but my delivery for my youngest was WAY better than my first experience (which I am still recovering from – mentally and physically) – that is definitely another post!
We have two amazing boys and am I ready for another dude (we all know it will be a boy! ) and start all over again from the beginning? Ah! I don’t know. I see so many of my friends having another baby at the moment and I do feel a little tug at the old heart strings when I remember the first moment I held both of my boys after the long hours of labour and the nervous 9 months of pregnancy when I hoped and prayed they would arrive safe and healthy. Of running into bed with my pregnancy test and yelling excitedly at Mark that we were going to be parents. But then I am also reminded of the sleepless night, feeling exhausted to the bone, not knowing who this woman is staring at you in the mirror, the breast/bottle feeding and the juggling of everything (including time between the boys and the husband).
To be honest, I’m not sure how I could cope with another child. My family and Mark’s family both live far away from us and Mark works usually 12-14 hour days which leaves me to manage mostly everything. I’m sure I’d make it work though! 🙂
Ah…who knows what will happen but I am a great believer in fate and what’s for you won’t go by you. So we’ll just have to see won’t we! If I never have another baby again than I am MORE than happy with my two awesome boys but they would make amazing big brothers, wouldn’t they?!