Sometimes It Doesn’t Go To Plan

As I’ve said before, I’m no guru in the kitchen but I do like to try out and create new recipes and, if they are a win in my house, I’ll happily share them with you all!

This was a pizza fail from this half term break. I LOOOOVVEEE pizza and so does my eldest son. My toddler could take it or leave it. I KNOW! What’s up with that?! Anyway….I used a gluten free base (so Mum could have a sneaky slice or two!) and put on the toppings which (for my kids) is just tomato base and cheese. Bunged it in the oven and ran off to chase my toddler to the toilet as we are potty training.

I had the timer on but I’m still getting used to the new oven and didn’t check it, so when the timer dinged I ran in to get the pizza and yup….that’s what you see above; a charred treat for the taste buds.

Will cried, I cried and then we both got over it. I made another pizza and we both (Sam decided not to have any) enjoyed it. I had to try the burnt one…but wow, it was too far gone!

I just wanted to say that no matter what someone posts on their feed, FB, Twitter…there is the reality as well. You best believe I wasn’t going to post this epic fail! But then I thought, why not?! It’s life, it’s MY life and it happened. All the dinner time chaos, the meal planning, the potty trainings that happen in and amongst a “well-planned” day is what life is all about and how we deal with it and move on. I didn’t just laugh it off right away, I was annoyed and my boys were tired and hungry but we got over it (I might have had a glass of wine) and then it was fine.

I hope that this blog and my videos help you see and connect to the real Steph. The one who is trying her best, who does mess up but who rolls up her sleeves and gets stuck in. I’m an open book so what you see is what you get. Poor you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Pizza fail! But I still had some……someone in the house had to, right!?

Your Preggo Body Remembers!

Exactly two years apart. Same dress and almost the same size bump! Except in 2014 I was a little over 2 months away from giving birth and in 2016 I was FIVE!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ

They are correct when they say your body remembers! I had a sizeable bump by my 12 week scan the 2nd time around! That saying my 2nd baby was almost 2lbs bigger than my first as well! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜

Becoming Mum

I came late to the Mum-Party. I didn’t get pregnant with my first son until I was 35 and he was born a week after I turned 36. During my pregnancy (which was NOT the easiest!) I felt intrepidation, like most mums-to-be, but I thought..”Hey! How hard can it be?!” Women have been “Becoming Mum” for YEARS! I got this! It’s a natural part of life!

WRONG! Oh…haha! How wrong I was! After a VERY LONG labour and delivery my little son was placed in my arms and I thought…now what?! Oh! I had to breastfeed! What the actual HECK?! The only breastfeeding I had ever tried was during NCT class with a crocheted breast and a baby doll…this squirming new born and my massive postnatal boob was not cooperating with each other! There were tears (mostly me) and then there was some latching and HOLY HELL no one said it would be that painful! But my little man seemed to be getting milk so we were all happy (I found out about 5 days later that he hadn’t been getting any and then I had my first bout of “MUM GUILT” – that’s definitely another post!)

In those early few weeks and months the confident 30-something year old women who had lived abroad and performed on stage and relied on her belief in herself was reduced to a timid, second-guessing, weeping shell. I realised very quickly that it was implied that I should know exactly what to do in every situation, which I really didn’t and no matter how many books I read on “Becoming Mum” could prepare me for the little life that relied solely on me! I had held babies before in the past but was always very tentative with them…never wanting to break them ๐Ÿ™‚ Now I was doing everything for the little man and everyone seemed to think that I should know what to do. That it was intuitive. To a point it was, I guess. I mean my mum instinct to keep safe, feed and take care of him came into play but little things to bathe him, how to deal with a poonami nappy, how to soothe him, how to make bottles etc…was all new and at every turn when I felt I didn’t know what to do and had to ask for help, I felt like a failure.

The months went by, my newborn became more robust and his little personality started to show. I started to heal (physically and mentally) after a very traumatic delivery (another post!) and my confidence started to return. Now I’m a mother to TWO little boys and to tell you the truth I am still figuring how to navigate this motherhood malarky but confident Steph is emerging again and making friends with Mum Steph…I think we will be a formidable team!

Have you experienced the loss of confidence? If so, what were some lessons you learned? Comment below and share!

Long Distance Parents

Last month my mother visited from America. She stayed with us for a month and it gave us time to catch up, for her to spend time with the boys and just see what our everyday life is like.

It’s nice to have her over but it’s always an intense time. Intense in such a way because we frantically try to cram as much as we can in the weeks that we have with each other that it’s not as natural as it would be if she lived in the same place.

Sometimes I long for her to live close by so I could call her up and ask if she is free for me to pop over for a cuppa or if she wants to meet me for lunch or come to grandparents day at school. Right now even Skyping is difficult due to the time differences and that goes for my sister as well.

I cherish every moment with my mum, very picture I have taken of her and my boys and every chat we have all had; as I know, all too well, one day they will end and that I will find very hard to accept.

Now, on to our next visiting trip!

Mummy Blogger Worries

It’s been about 3-4 months since I have fully thrown myself into blogging. As a parent/lifestyle blogger I’m obviously going to write about what I know about and experience on a daily basis and that mostly revolves around my children.

This has been a hard one to reconcile for me. When my eldest was born I was SO protective of what pictures of him were on social media, who could see them and even banned my family from posting pics for a while.

As time went on I found that I really wanted to share important moments in the boys’ lives with friends and family so I started to post more. I joined Instagram but it was a private account. Then I got brave! I made the account public and shared stories of my life with the unknown and mostly of the back of my boys’ heads! ๐Ÿคฃ

I started to want to share certain parts of our lives and for people to see their little expressions on their faces. The boys still aren’t featured loads – well maybe they are ๐Ÿคฃ- but instead of stressing over it all I’m just going with the flow and posting pictures that I HOPE they won’t be embarrassed of when they are older. I am fully aware that what I put out on the internet will be with them their whole lives and so I want to be mindful what that will be. Plus I also try to be mindful of not posting too much about their lives/ our lives.

At the end of the day I’m still an Uber protective mum. I just love sharing some of what we get up to with all of you! So that being said, if there is a super cute picture I’ll definitely be posting it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

That Broody Feeling!

William went to see Aladdin at the Panto over Christmas break with his Dad. When he came home he told me that the Genie gave Aladdin three wishes and he wanted to tell me his three wishes. The first one was to have another baby brother! Trust me, that came out of the blue for me as well! But it did validate some of the niggling feelings I’d been having for the past few months (much to the shock of my husband!) that I MIGHT be ready for another baby! Whaaat??!! Now, I have no idea where this has come from! I have been longing for some “me” time for literally YEARS and now this month I’m actually going to get two days a week where I can focus on my projects but my womb has other ideas!

I’m 40 now and I think I realise that this quite possibly is my last chance to try….am I really ready to stop? I had quite bad pregnancies with both boys but my delivery for my youngest was WAY better than my first experience (which I am still recovering from – mentally and physically) – that is definitely another post!

We have two amazing boys and am I ready for another dude (we all know it will be a boy! ) and start all over again from the beginning? Ah! I don’t know. I see so many of my friends having another baby at the moment and I do feel a little tug at the old heart strings when I remember the first moment I held both of my boys after the long hours of labour and the nervous 9 months of pregnancy when I hoped and prayed they would arrive safe and healthy. Of running into bed with my pregnancy test and yelling excitedly at Mark that we were going to be parents. But then I am also reminded of the sleepless night, feeling exhausted to the bone, not knowing who this woman is staring at you in the mirror, the breast/bottle feeding and the juggling of everything (including time between the boys and the husband).

To be honest, I’m not sure how I could cope with another child. My family and Mark’s family both live far away from us and Mark works usually 12-14 hour days which leaves me to manage mostly everything. I’m sure I’d make it work though! ๐Ÿ™‚

Ah…who knows what will happen but I am a great believer in fate and what’s for you won’t go by you. So we’ll just have to see won’t we! If I never have another baby again than I am MORE than happy with my two awesome boys but they would make amazing big brothers, wouldn’t they?!

Milestone Birthday Memories

My husband finally caught up with me and turned 40 in October!

His actual birthday was on a Thursday and he spent the evening at our eldest son’s 1st school disco! Ha! I couldn’t make that up! But after the disco (and him showing those 4 year olds just how to bust a move!) we had some of his oldest and best friends over for pizza with their kids who are around the same age as ours. It was a lovely end to his birthday.

For the birthday CELEBRATION I organised a night out on the following Saturday night which included private dining at a Michelin Star restaurant with a great group of friends. I find my husband SOOOOOO hard to buy for and had been scratching my head and scouring Pinterest for ideas. I came across an idea of a memory book with messages from friends and family and took it to the next level by asking for pictures as well!

I feel my husband doesn’t realise how loved he is and I wanted him to know what his friends and family actually thought of him…..(mostly all good!)

I contacted loads of his friends and family, including friends from his childhood he hasn’t heard from in years, ex-work colleagues and crazy Uni mates. I asked them all to send me over a memory of their time together, a birthday wish or tribute…. and include a picture of them with my hubby (if they had any…no digital cameras or smart phones back in our school days!) When I got the messages I typed them up and printed them out on card stock and then printed out the picture that was sent and stuck it on the back of the same card. I hole punched the card and bound them together with a ring clip, so it was easy for him to flip through.

People said such lovely things about the hubster …I was touched reading them myself and I was so excited for him to get his present and see all the messages.

I presented the book to him at the beginning of his birthday dinner and he was so surprised! I think all the lovely messages did take him back a bit and I could tell he was very touched by all the lovely wishes and surprised at who I had managed to get a hold of! Some of his primary school friends he has now reconnected with on Facebook!

At the end of the day it was the simplest gift that meant the most to him. It’s been almost two months since his birthday and I still catch him re-reading the messages and smiling at the memories/stories and pictures. I’m so glad it’s a gift he will cherish for years to come.

Now…what am I going to get him for his fiftieth!?