William went to see Aladdin at the Panto over Christmas break with his Dad. When he came home he told me that the Genie gave Aladdin three wishes and he wanted to tell me his three wishes. The first one was to have another baby brother! Trust me, that came out of the blue for me as well! But it did validate some of the niggling feelings I’d been having for the past few months (much to the shock of my husband!) that I MIGHT be ready for another baby! Whaaat??!! Now, I have no idea where this has come from! I have been longing for some “me” time for literally YEARS and now this month I’m actually going to get two days a week where I can focus on my projects but my womb has other ideas!
I’m 40 now and I think I realise that this quite possibly is my last chance to try….am I really ready to stop? I had quite bad pregnancies with both boys but my delivery for my youngest was WAY better than my first experience (which I am still recovering from – mentally and physically) – that is definitely another post!
We have two amazing boys and am I ready for another dude (we all know it will be a boy! ) and start all over again from the beginning? Ah! I don’t know. I see so many of my friends having another baby at the moment and I do feel a little tug at the old heart strings when I remember the first moment I held both of my boys after the long hours of labour and the nervous 9 months of pregnancy when I hoped and prayed they would arrive safe and healthy. Of running into bed with my pregnancy test and yelling excitedly at Mark that we were going to be parents. But then I am also reminded of the sleepless night, feeling exhausted to the bone, not knowing who this woman is staring at you in the mirror, the breast/bottle feeding and the juggling of everything (including time between the boys and the husband).
To be honest, I’m not sure how I could cope with another child. My family and Mark’s family both live far away from us and Mark works usually 12-14 hour days which leaves me to manage mostly everything. I’m sure I’d make it work though! 🙂
Ah…who knows what will happen but I am a great believer in fate and what’s for you won’t go by you. So we’ll just have to see won’t we! If I never have another baby again than I am MORE than happy with my two awesome boys but they would make amazing big brothers, wouldn’t they?!